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1 month ago
PUN INTENDED!Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead give away. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under. Every calendar's days are numbered. A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. He had a photographic memory that was never developed. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large. Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. Acupuncture is a jab well done. ... See MoreSee Less
2 months ago
GREAT TRUTHS1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.-- John Adams2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.-- Mark Twain3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.-- Mark Twain4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.--Winston Churchill5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.-- George Bernard Shaw6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.-- G Gordon Liddy7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.--James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.-- Douglas Case, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University 9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.-- PJ. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.-- Frederic Bastiat , French economist(1801-1850 ... See MoreSee Less